Dirty Little Secret
by samanddianefan10
Summary: How could the worst thing to happen to Holly be the one thing that saved her life? Michael/Holly/Toby. Not slash. Rated for adult situations and mild language
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a completed story. It's a personal favorite of mine. Michael and Toby factor into it greatly, but it's really a story told from a woman's POV when what happens when you can't have what you need. Throw men into the mix and poor Holly has a time of it. Thanks for reading and any feedback would be appreciated. I know these chapters are short, but I wrote them out by hand. Nonetheless I feel they still tell the story I want to tell. Enjoy!**

Michael had to go take care of Jan, his ex, at Toby's goodbye party. It was a shame, really. He was really into Holly but when Kevin called and said he'd seen a very pregnant Jan at the grocery store, well, he had to go. This could be his kid. All thoughts of romance flew out the window.

Toby took the chance while everyone was outside to enter Michael's office. He changed his password to TOBYTHEGREAT. He rearranged the box of toys Michael kept in his drawer. This was going to be great. No one would know.

Except for Holly who walked in on him. "Is this part of our HR job description?"

Busted. "Um no. You really wouldn't understand. It's a thing between me and Michael.."

"Oh," Holly said, disappointed. "I get it. You two have a thing."

"Toby stood up. "What? No . We're not ... I like women. I love women."

"Why do you let him talk to you the way he does?"

Toby's face burned. Here one day and this hot woman could see how bad he was. Well he was not bad at everything.

"Are you wearing any panties?"

It was hard to say who was more shocked. Holly understood exactly what he wanted from her. "Pull the blinds down, Toby and lock the door and I'll let you find out."

He was so excited that this was happening that it took him a minute to realize where she had chosen to sit- on Michael's chair, spread wide, revealing that no,she was not wearing any panties.

She motioned him closer and took his hand and he did stuff that made her feel good. It didn't take him long to bring her to her desired results, and then Holy gently kissed Toby on the lips.

No one spoke of it.

Holly was there when Michael finally realized that Toby had "messed " with his desk." If he had only known.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Everything was going great. Michael found out Jan's baby was not his, but he found a fringe benefit. He got closer to Holly. They were so much alike. They laughed at the same jokes. They appreciated the same tasted in art. They always had a great time together. Michael had never been more in love in his life, and it showed. He was easier to work with, if the staff ignored all the times he announced that he'd just gotten some. The office's numbers were better than ever, so they had more money in their budget for parties which Michael loved more than anyone else. He had Phyllis plan a party to celebrate Oscar and his partner's one year anniversary (Angela called in sick that day) and even threw a party to celebrate the birth of a litter of one of Angela's cat's kittens. Oscar called off sick that day. Life was perfect for Michael.

But not for Holly. Eating away at her was her and Toby's little secret. It wasn't like she had cheated on Michael. They had not technically been dating when she had fooled around with Toby, but she knew that Michael would not approve. He would never have ever asked her out if only he had known she had kissed Toby, let alone fooled around in his chair. Michael would be devastated to learn this. She had to tell him before things went further.

But how could she ruin the best thing that had ever happen to her? All her life she had been afraid to be herself- she loved Star Trek and Star Wars and Michael told killer jokes about them. Their love life was great- he was eager to please her and didn't put pressure on her the way other guys did. So why was it that sometimes when she was alone, sitting at her desk- Toby's desk- she closed her eyes and thought of what had happened?


	3. Chapter 3

Secret

Chapter 3

At the Dundies

Everything was going great. Love was in the air. Erin had finally agreed to start seeing Andy, making him so happy. He had been in love with her for so long, but was waiting for her to make the next move. This was a big relief to Angela. She finally forgave Dwight for killing her cat, and they were trying to make a baby. No one understood what she saw in him, but they made each other happy, and that was all that mattered. Kelly and Ryan were back together, for who long was anyone's guess.

Jim and Pam were engaged and it was a matter of time before they were married. It would be the coolest wedding ever. They were so compatible. Everyone was happy for them, except for maybe Kevin. He was tired of being alone. He tried internet dating but it didn't work.

"Everyone, tonight is a very special night. Everyone here is paired up, in love, with a special someone- sorry Kevin. Your day will come. Maybe you could try a mail order bride," Michael suggested. Everyone groaned.

"But," Michael continued, "I want to make tonight even more special. You all know my lovely lady Holly. I would like to ask Holy to do me the honor of being my wife, Mrs. Michael Scott."

Holly was stunned, and the audience gasped. All eyes were on her. She forgot about everything and ran up to Michael and hugged him.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes. I would love to marry you!"

Everyone clapped and Jim whistled as Michael picked her up off her feet. This was the happiest night of his life. Nothing could go wrong now.

Monday morning everyone was shocked when Toby sat down at the cubicle next to Holly.

"What the hell are you doing here, Toby?" Michael asked.

"Didn't you and Holly get the memo from HQ? I'm back. I'm going to be working with Holly from now on," Toby replied.

Holly knew that Michael would be ticked, but she knew that she was in trouble. She and Toby made eye contact, and she knew that she was in deep trouble indeed.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry this is so short but this chapter is where the plot really takes off. Thanks for reading and thanks Jessie 33 for your comments!_

Hithe IM read.

**I can't talk**, Holly replied.

**Why not?** Toby asked.

**I'm busy.**

**I really need to see you.**

**What for?**

**I missed you.**

**Please don't say that.**

**Meet me in the downstairs closet in five minutes**, Toby requested. Holly didn't know if it was a request or an order. She logged off.

Toby smiled to himself, wondering if she would meet him. It was fifteen minutes later and he was getting ready to leave. Finally the door opened.

"You came," he smiled.

"I don't know why I'm here," Holly stammered. "I really have a lot of work to do."

"You're engaged," he stated, staring at her ring.

She said nothing. Finally he leaned in and kissed her, half catching her by surprise but not really. But she was even more surprised when she didn't resist. There was something comfortable about his touch, and he quickly slipped his hand under her bra. She wanted to be quiet but let a soft sigh slip out as she unbuttoned his pants. With his other hand he lifted her skirt then lowered her panties then entered her, quickly finding a rhythm pleasing to them both. She held on tight to him as she came as he did too. They both fixed their clothes them looked at each other.

"This can't happen again," Holly hissed. Toby nodded in agreement, both feeling sure that it would. Holly didn't know what was happening, and she hated herself for it. But all she knew was that Michael couldn't find out.


	5. Chapter 5

Michael took Holly for a drive at night. He stopped at a park. "What are we doing here?"

"There is a pond. I want to take you there."

"I can't."

He got out of the car and opened her door. "Of course you can. Take my hand. You'll love it here." He opened the trunk of his car and grabbed a blanket and a basket.

"What's all this?"

"We're having a picnic underneath the stars. Surprised?" he grinned.

Holly froze." I'm speechless."

Michael kissed her. "Good. I'll talk enough for the both of us. Let's go."

So they got there, and they ate, and Michael was right. He did all the talking. He told her all about his lonely childhood, how he always wanted kids so he could always have friends. He told her how upset he could when his mom remarried, he was jealous he would lose her attention. He was right. He had to learn how to play by himself. That's when he learned how to tell jokes to get attention.

Holly felt terrible. Michael deserved better than her. He was a good person, she was a bad one. She loved Michael, not Toby. That was just sex. Sex and love had nothing to do with one another. Right?

It would break Michael's heart if he knew what she was doing. But it was like she couldn't help herself. She and Toby had been messing around now for a few weeks, and every time they said it would be the last. Every time Holly saw Michael berate Toby at work it made her want Toby even more. This was a sick game and she needed help. Was it pity sex? Stress relief? Was she jealous of the attention Michael paid him, albeit negative attention? No, she was really messed up.


	6. Chapter 6

This was the first time Holly has been to Toby's apartment. Usually had been in the car, at work, or even at some cheap hotel.

"Would you like something to drink?" he offered. "All I have is a beer, I'm sorry."

"No thanks. I have to drive. I'm not staying long."

"Thanks for coming."

"Don't thank me. This is what we both wanted."

Holly closed her eyes. That was the first time she admitted to herself that she actually wanted this- this thing- that was going on. It was like she was hooked, like a drug. Her sex life with Michael was good. They did it several times a week, though God knew Michael would have loved it more often. He just thought that Holly wasn't that type of girl. If he only knew. There was a word for girls like her.

"You want this too?" Toby smiled. "I think about it all the time."

"Don't! Just don't. This means nothing. I'm just using you. I'm just screwing you, do you understand?"

Toby looked at her and he did understand her better than she understood herself. He grabbed her by the back of her head and kissed her violently, biting her lip. Holly was shocked at how turned on she was.

He threw her down on the couch, not leaving her much room to move. She started to reach for his pants when he pulled her hands above her head.

"You don't get to do anything unless I tell you you can," he growled.

Holly was scared and excited at the same time. Gone was the sad and helpless look in Toby's eyes. He had taken charge, and she liked it. Her heart raced as he took off his tie and restrained her wrists. Then he lifted her blouse and bra and began kissing her, nipping gently. She tried resisting but his body weight prevented any resistance. He took one of his hands and did things that made her feel good. Finally he released her from her restraint and then entered her; she gratefully held on to him and came several times, some of the most intense feelings she'd ever experienced. After his turn, she sat up and looked at him. She knew that she would never view him the same way again. Holly hurried up and got dressed and left without saying a word. If she didn't leave then, she never would, and then everyone's lives would forever be changed.


	7. Chapter 7

At work the next day she was secretly thrilled when she received an email from Toby. She hoped it was code for their little adventure last night.

_Ms. Flax,_

_Project cancelled. Further contact concerning it would be unnecessary and unwelcome._

_Toby Flenderson, HR_

Holly read it a dozen times before something snapped. All of the passion, all of the lust, all of the longing, all of the secrets, needed to come out and it came out in a fit of fury. How could he do this to her? She'd come to want-no-need him, and he just cast her aside like she was nothing? He-Toby, who should have been grateful she even looked his way, was throwing HER away?

Before anyone could stop her she furiously grabbed the one reminder of Toby, that damn computer, and smashed it to the floor. With her right hand she cleared her desk of everything, including her cup of hot coffee, and threw them to the floor as well. She didn't care; this was once Toby's desk and he treated her like trash so she might as well do the same to his belongings.

"Holly," Toby ran over to her while Kelly and Ryan stared. Jim ran to get Michael.

"No," she screamed. "Stay away from me. I hate you. Michael was right about you. He was right," she repeated.

Michael ran out to his fiancée. "Holly what's wrong? Did this freak show do something to you?"

The whole office grew quiet as they awaited her response.

"No, Michael. Toby's a nobody," Holly responded quietly. "I need to take a personal leave of absence. You can tell HQ to deduct the damages from my last check."

She approached Michael, kissed him as hard as she could, then walked out the door, leaving a trail of disbelievers behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

On the plane ride to Costa Rica Holly had plenty of time to think. But she slept most of the way. When she was awake she wondered what Toby did on his plane ride there. Had he really thought he would never come back? What made him leave- was it Michael? She had lost respect for him for giving that much power to one person but here she was in the same boat. She was in love with Toby. She didn't know when or how it had happened but when she was with him she felt things she had never felt before. She felt like a woman with him. And now she knew she would never experience those feelings again as long as she lived. And that thought made her feel like dying.

When she got to the resort Holly slept for three whole days. She had had the blinds turned down and a do not disturb sign posted and the phone turned off. She was as far away from civilization as she could get. She got up only to get a drink of water and go to the bathroom. She didn't even brush her teeth. She looked like she felt-dead.

Finally she got up and joined the human race again. She got breakfast and then went down to the beach. Holly wondered if this was the same beach Toby lay on during his time there. It was funny- she supposedly went there to escape him yet he was there, everywhere. And she thought about Michael. She wondered if he was giving Toby hell, if he had figured out what had happened. When she went back, if she went back, there would be shattered lives, her own included. As much as she loved Michael-and she did love him-she couldn't think about him right now. Right now she was safe, cocooned in her world of memories and that was all her world would allow.


	9. Chapter 9

Holly lay on the beach for two weeks, sipping margaritas and watching the tide go by and children play. She couldn't help but think of the children Michael wanted. It should be so simple. She should be with him and be the mother of his children and they should live happily ever after. But she was a big girl now. She saw that there was no happy ever after, at least not for her.

She knew she should be going back. She couldn't stay in Costa Rica forever. After all, even Toby returned. Life went on. People learned to live with broken hearts. She'd had hers broken before. Going on would be easy. Forgetting him would be hard. Especially when she had to work with him every day. No one said she had to work there. But she refused to lose everything. She was good at what she did and Toby was the one with the problem. If seeing her everyday made him uncomfortable than so be it.

Two days later she walked back in the doors of her workplace. Everyone stared but said nothing. Finally Jim spoke up.

"Hi Holly. Welcome back."

"Thanks Jim. It's good to be back."

Would you like me to tell Michael you're here?"

"Yes please." She stood up, waiting nervosly."

Finally after about five minutes Michael walked out.

"Holly. Good to see you. Always glad to see a member of our family return to our fold.. Well," he said, looking toward the HR direction. "Almost always."

"Michael.."

"I'm sorry. Do you have a minute?"

She nodded. He closed the door and shut the blinds. Finally he spoke.

"Why Holly? Why him?"

"Michael I'm so sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. You are so wonderful and so kind and so good. You're everything I'm not."

"I could handle it if it were anyone but him. Do you know how much I hate him?"

She nodded.

"Did you do this to hurt me? What did I do to you? Didn't I love you enough?"

Holly began to cry. "Yes Michael. How can I make you see that you didn't do anything wrong? It was me. All me. If I could turn back time and do it all over again I would. I need you to believe that I love you Michael. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I need you baby. Without you I'm nothing." She looked him in the eyes, tears streaming down her face.

Maybe he was the biggest fool in the world, but he still loved her. There was something about Holly that he just couldn't walk away from.

"Does this mean that you still want to marry me?" Michael asked.

"Are you serious?" she laughed through her tears. "You'll still have me?"

"What kind of husband will I make if I can't love you through better or worse?" he smiled, the kind that always broke and melted her heart at the same time.

"I love you Michael Scott," Holly cried, really meaning it.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 10

So they planned the wedding of the year, with Ryan and Oscar taking bets that it would never happen. Holly and Toby never spoke, except for work related things and even then only by email. Once in a while after Michael berated Toby she would mouth "you're pathetic" and then kiss Michael. Other than that it was like nothing had ever happened between them. Part of her still wished Toby would man up and stop this wedding. But that was a fairy tale. The reality was that she had a man who adored her and that she adored and she was going to do everything she could to make this work. She realized more and more every day why she loved Michael and why things with his nemesis would never have worked out. She had been a fool.

Finally Holly had an excuse to talk to Toby. She walked up to him.

"I suppose you know my wedding is next Saturday."

"I believe I've heard that. "

"I would really like it if you attended," She gave him an invitation.

"Thanks but I don't know if I can…"

Holly fumed. "If you hide behind the B.S. excuse that you're scared of me or Michael then you're really not the man I fell in love with. Maybe Michael was right about you all along."

Toby grinned. "I meant I have Sasha this weekend."

Her face turned red, then she started laughing. He joined in.

"I still hate you," she said as she walked away.

"I know you do, he whispered softly as he watched her leave.

Saturday finally arrived. Holly wore the fancy poufy dress Michael had wanted her to, when she would have been happy in a simple body hugging dress. But she would do anything to make his dream come true. She looked in the mirror and still hated what she saw. Would that ever go away?


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 11

This was it. She was going to be Mrs. Michael Scott. She was leaving the company. She would miss her job and her friends. There was one person she would not miss. This was the happiest day of her life. Why was she so sad?

She started marching down the aisle and out of the corner of her eye she could see him-without Sasha. If he lied about Sasha, what else had he lied about? Was it possible he broke up with her not because he didn't love her but because he did? And he thought she should be right here-marrying Michael instead of him? That was it. He let her go because he thought she deserved better!

"I can't do this," Holly called out even before the minister began to speak.

"I beg your pardon?"

Holly looked at Michael. "I'm sorry. I can't."

Michael stared at her. "Do you love him?"

She nodded. "I'm afraid I do."

Michael stormed off. Pam got up and followed.

Everyone else was glued to their seat, watching what happened next.

"I'm sorry everyone," Holly announced. "There won't be a wedding today. Not unless Toby gets off his ass and takes a chance for once in his life."

Everyone looked at Toby. "Holly what are you talking about?"

"The license bureau closes in two hours. We can be back here in less than one."

"Are you asking me to marry you?"

"Do it Toby," Kelly yelled out.

"I know why you broke up with me Toby. You thought you weren't enough to keep me happy. But I know what I want and what I want is you. What about you? What do you want?" Holly asked.

Toby didn't have to think twice. "I want you too."

"Are you man enough to fight for me?"

The room grew quiet. He stood up and walked over to Holly and kissed her passionately. The minster cleared his throat. "I believe that's a bit premature. How about that license?"

"How about it?" Holly grinned.

Toby took her hand and they ran for the door. Everyone clapped.

An hour later they were pronounced husband and wife. They were happier than ever. As it turned out, she didn't have to quit her job. Michael thought about it, until Pam hooked him up with her hot friend Judy, and he started to get over Holly. He threw himself into his job, and got himself a hefty bonus and upgraded his car. He threw that in Toby's face every chance he got. So things got back to normal- as normal as they could get at Dunder Mifflin with Michael Scott for a boss.

Holly didn't exactly get her fairy tale, and she found that her white knight didn't come in the picture perfect package that she had always dreamed about. True, she had needed some saving, but as it turned out the only one who could save her was Holly herself. And that was a lesson that had literally saved her mind and her life. She wouldn't go through it again but she wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world either. Holly Flax had found love and peace of mind, and that was the greatest gift anyone could have given her.

The end


	12. Epilogue

The day of the honeymoon

Island sex was better than plane sex, they decided. Plane sex was exciting. Holly and Toby were both now official members of the mile high club. Normally Toby had been the aggressor in their private life, but much to Toby's surprise she initiated this unexpected encounter.

It started when they were holding hands under the blanket. Toby looked at her, feeling quite possibly more content than he'd ever had before in his life. He had it all; a beautiful daughter who hadn't yet seen how imperfect he was, and a wife who adored him and accepted him for who he was. Life was good.

Holly began rubbing her thumb against the palm of his hand, soothing him, yet stirring something in him. Before long she had released her hand and placed it on his upper leg. Nothing wrong there. No one thought twice when she started to slowly massage his leg and thigh until she accidentally discovered the reaction she had caused.

Holly looked at him with a sparkle in her eye. "Would you like me to take care of that for you?"

The feeling only intensified. "Honey I would love that but we're at least four hours away from the island."

Holly touched the source of the problem. "Wanna join the mile high club?"

He looked at her and felt his breathing deepen. He removed her hand. "I'd love to but you're going to have to give me a few minutes."

She smiled then calmly walked back to the restroom, waiting impatiently for her husband to arrive.

After what had seemed like an eternity she let Toby in and he immediately pounced upon her like a cat devouring its prey. He kissed her greedily, tracing trails of kisses along her earlobes and neckline, following as closely to her breasts without her damn clothes getting in the way. Frustrated, he lifted her shirt up and unhooked her bra, revealing his favorite part-okay his second favorite part-of his wife. He couldn't take them in fast enough. Meanwhile Holly reached down and released her aching husband from his pants and attempted to release some of his tension. Her pants had to go. After pulling her pants down he quickly pumped her fast but steadily; she could barely catch her breath. He continued for a small eternity. She came and until, with her encouragement, he did too. They quickly washed up and dressed and ignored the small line of passengers as they made their way to their seats. You only lived once, right?

And their first night in Hawaii was no different. They spent the day settling in and sight seeing and at night changed to their swimsuits, grabbed a blanket and a cooler of beers and made their way to the beach. They were shocked to discover they were all alone. They spent time talking about everything-where to live, how many kids they wanted, their childhoods, their dream jobs. The more they drank the more they relaxed the got and the more they laughed. Neither one of them had ever had so much fun.

"You know Toby-this is my honeymoon night." Holly smiled. "You're not so drunk that you won't be able to, you know…"

"Are you kidding me? I could do you right now," he laughed.

"Then why don't you?"

"What? I was kidding."

"I'm not." Holly undid her bikini top and let it slip to the ground.

He needed no further encouragement. He laid her down on the blanket and made love to her right there beneath the open skies of Hawaii. When it was over Holly took Toby's hand and they walked hand by hand alongside the shore, wondering if they would ever be this happy again.

Holly once wondered if it was pity sex or jealous sex that led her straight to Toby. She found that it didn't matter anymore. In her heart she knew that it was love. And in the end that was the only thing that really mattered.

_Fin_


End file.
